The twins knew Charlie. They picked up his toys and told me who they belonged to. They walked past his room and said his name. They even (as I have mentioned before) said, "Shh, shh, shh, baby Charlie" when it was time to be quiet so he could "sleep" in my belly.
They knew him but he was gone so quickly that they didn't have time to really know him. Macy didn't have a chance to run and get a diaper to help me change him. Johnny didn't have a chance to watch him when he made funny baby noises. They didn't get to spend enough time with him to have any memories of him. So it is only natural that their spirit did not fade when he was here, and then not, so quickly. Their hearts do not hurt like ours do everyday. Their laughter never ceased.
I think their laughter might be the reason I could get up on July 18th. The second worst day of my life; the day after I said goodbye to Charlie. That is not the last day that the twins have helped me make it through a day and I am certain it is not the last.
Today was an emotional day and when I walked in the door the twins ran to hug me and just as it always does, their laughter filled our home all evening. They said, "momma" over and over again. They chased each other around the table. They ate dinner with us at the table. They smiled as their dad turned on Mickey Mouse for them to watch before bed. They danced when they heard a song on their favorite show. They asked us for milk (or "mock" as they call it). They sat in their new favorite chairs. They raced up the stairs to brush their teeth. They begged for another book before bed. They giggled.
It helped today as it did before to hear them laugh. When Johnny and I say what we are thankful for tonight their laughter will consume my thoughts.