I am not sure why I have neglected this outlet as of late but being sick, passing a kidney stone, and needing a few days that were not consumed with grief were necessary for me to go on about my days. So I am back and writing why I am thankful. I love making lists so here it goes...
1. Charlie is in heaven. Charlie is in heaven with our Father that loves him more than we can even begin to imagine. I will forever be thankful that we have this hope of heaven.
2. Macy and Johnny make me smile. They say the most hilarious (and polite) things for two year olds. John and I took Johnny to the doctor yesterday after a few days of a cough. As we were leaving he said, "Thank you much..." and then as he normally does, followed up quickly with, "You're welcome." before the doctor could respond. She just smiled and said he was the cutest patient by far that she had all day. I am thankful and absolutely love that they are talking!
3. My husband is kind. This may seem silly but as I made a wreath for my mom last night he held his finger on each string I needed to tie around the wreath. He laid on the floor, held his finger on the strings, and watched a Hallmark movie with us. He probably wouldn't have chosen to do those things had he been alone (actually I know he wouldn't have) but he did it anyway, and had a smile on his face. I am thankful for that smile.
4. My mom and dad let us come to their house and completely take over. When I say take over, I mean we literally took their house by storm. We pulled into their driveway, drug in our one million and one bags, toys immediately landed in every crevice of their house, beds were unmade, food was left half eaten on high chairs, and both of my parents had smiles on their faces. I am not sure I would be the same way...but I am thankful just the same.
5. My sister gave me an ornament for our tree. It is my new favorite ornament. On the front is my favorite picture of my Charlie and on the back is the day and time he was born, his weight, his length, and his full name. For some reason my mind sometimes draws a blank when I think back to June 30th. I don't know why but I panic when I think about forgetting all those things about Charlie. I actually haven't put it on the tree yet because it's next to my bed on the table. I am thankful my sister knows me so well and made this ornament just for me.
6. Black Friday was this past weekend. I am not really sure why but I love Black Friday but I do. My mom and I went out this year as we typically do and looked for deals that we may or may not need and then proceeded to purchase things we may or may not need. It's always fun to get out with my mom. I love watching people run around, grab things off shelves, carry way too much in their arms as they try to make their way to the register, and I love that this is the mark of the beginning of the Christmas season. I am thankful for holidays and simple traditions we keep.
7. A good friend took family pictures of us this weekend. I don't have any of the ones she took yet but my mom snapped just a couple on my phone as we were trying desperately to get the twins to stand next to us and smile. Poor Johnny wasn't feeling like himself but we are thankful he is almost back to normal now and we are thankful Patrice was willing to take time away from her own family to share her talent.
This list could go on and it's actually good for me to realize that as I sit here and think about all of these things. While my heart still hurts because I miss Charlie so much, I know now that doesn't mean that it cannot also be full of thanksgiving.
As my grandma would say, "We are so blessed and it is good for us to remember that. That is how we should be."
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