Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Sunday, November 29, 2015

DIY Project Complete

So I promised an update, but it won't be a long one...the Hallmark channel is playing in the background and for whatever reason those movies suck me in every time.

Here are the new shelves in the basement.




I absolutely love them.  They were easy, easy, easy and during the Christmas season they will be the perfect place to display our Santas.  I am not sure the room is quite "manly" enough for John's much anticipated "man cave" but I'm working on it.  Maybe I'll change out the candy jars for something a little more masculine...or maybe he will just have to be patient and see what Santa brings Christmas morning!   

Saturday, November 28, 2015

DIY Shelving and the Hallmark Channel

I need a break.  I need to write about something else. Talking and writing about my grief is good for the soul, but so is a distraction.

This Thanksgiving break has been hard but also a much, much needed break.  We typically pack and travel and go to several dinners but this break was completely different.  I missed the normal hustle and bustle; but I actually enjoyed being in our new home more than I thought I would.  We cleaned and made a peanut butter pie for our dinner Friday but other than those necessary things we just were still.  This season has been so busy and so full that it felt good to sit.  Having a day to rest (while everyone else was running around like crazy having Thanksgiving meals) was perfect.  We enjoyed family time and took naps and ate pot roast.  On Friday, we did have the perfect family Thanksgiving meal after I picked up my parents from the airport.  John and Jane outdid themselves as always and we all ate until we were uncomfortable.  Then we went back for dessert!  The tricky part about Thanksgiving without someone is that you are missing a chair; an actual physical thing.  We were missing a highchair at the table but I forced myself to remember how thankful I am that I have family reminding me I am not alone and that we have the promise of heaven.  There is no greater blessing.  

With all that being said, once this evening rolled around my mind needed a distraction.  Everyone left and the hustle and bustle was over.  The only difference today was that there is nothing in the very near future to look forward to.  So I decided to make something.  I wanted to accomplish something and feel proud of it.  And with a secret (and very exciting) gift coming John's way for Christmas I wanted to "prep" the bar for the upcoming holiday (and gift).  So...I made two shelves.  I bought wood, plumbing pipes, spray paint, stain, screws, and a stud finder.  (Side note: If you do not have a stud finder, go get one immediately.)  These suckers are never coming down and it is all thanks to my brilliant dad for letting me know I could purchase a stud finder for $10 at Lowe's.  Who knew?!  He said, "Find the stud, screw those puppies in, and you're good to go."


This is obviously (looking at the picture) not a complete project and I am almost embarrassed about the chaos in the background of this picture but bear with me and I will post an update once these shelves are staged and the rest of the room is clean!  I have to say, this is the easiest and most bang for your buck (the wood was $16 and the pipes were $23) kind of project if you like the look.   I can say that I am proud and my mind was distracted for a bit this evening.  Win, win!  Now, I'm ready for my bed and the Hallmark channel. 

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve and all I can think about is how I will never get to hear Charlie squeal when he sees what Santa brought on Christmas morning.  I was just laying in bed after having prepared everything for Santa's arrival and I can't get that thought out of my head.

I have heard Macy and Johnny laugh, talk, and literally squeal when they see presents appear under the tree (as I wrap them) and when they talk about what they want Santa to bring them.  I know tomorrow morning will bring so much more of those precious sounds.  I will absolutely cherish this day so much more than I ever have before.  I will cherish every smile that graces their sweet faces, every "Thank you mommy!" that comes from their lips, and every single picture that I take that will allow me to relive those memories.

The Christmas season is hard, but I am not sure anyone can really understand how hard.  And while we are beginning to form traditions to intentionally include Charlie this year and in years to come, not having him in my arms is so desperately hard.  I have no words for what this empty feeling on the most joyous day of the year feels like.  

Tomorrow I am sure the chaos that comes with two year olds on Christmas morning will consume most of the parts of my mind but Charlie will permeate every single other thought and place in my mind and my heart.  He will always hold a special place and I miss him so much it hurts!

Tonight as I go back to bed and try to sleep I will pray intensely for those families that are experiencing these same feelings.  I will also keep those families currently in the hospital, specifically the PICU, in my prayers as well.  I can only imagine the heartache being in the hospital brings on such a special day.

These pictures from our Christmas Eve brought smiles.  Anything that brings smiles is worthy of sharing.

Ronald McDonald House Delivery

Santa (...as we planned)

Waving from the Train

"Mommy, I love trains!" 
 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Thankful

I am not sure why I have neglected this outlet as of late but being sick, passing a kidney stone, and needing a few days that were not consumed with grief were necessary for me to go on about my days.  So I am back and writing why I am thankful.  I love making lists so here it goes...

1. Charlie is in heaven.  Charlie is in heaven with our Father that loves him more than we can even begin to imagine.  I will forever be thankful that we have this hope of heaven. 

2. Macy and Johnny make me smile.  They say the most hilarious (and polite) things for two year olds.  John and I took Johnny to the doctor yesterday after a few days of a cough.  As we were leaving he said, "Thank you much..." and then as he normally does, followed up quickly with, "You're welcome." before the doctor could respond.  She just smiled and said he was the cutest patient by far that she had all day.  I am thankful and absolutely love that they are talking!

3. My husband is kind.  This may seem silly but as I made a wreath for my mom last night he held his finger on each string I needed to tie around the wreath.  He laid on the floor, held his finger on the strings, and watched a Hallmark movie with us.  He probably wouldn't have chosen to do those things had he been alone (actually I know he wouldn't have) but he did it anyway, and had a smile on his face.  I am thankful for that smile.

4. My mom and dad let us come to their house and completely take over.  When I say take over, I mean we literally took their house by storm.  We pulled into their driveway, drug in our one million and one bags, toys immediately landed in every crevice of their house, beds were unmade, food was left half eaten on high chairs, and both of my parents had smiles on their faces.  I am not sure I would be the same way...but I am thankful just the same.

5. My sister gave me an ornament for our tree.  It is my new favorite ornament.  On the front is my favorite picture of my Charlie and on the back is the day and time he was born, his weight, his length, and his full name.  For some reason my mind sometimes draws a blank when I think back to June 30th.  I don't know why but I panic when I think about forgetting all those things about Charlie.  I actually haven't put it on the tree yet because it's next to my bed on the table.  I am thankful my sister knows me so well and made this ornament just for me.

6. Black Friday was this past weekend.  I am not really sure why but I love Black Friday but I do.  My mom and I went out this year as we typically do and looked for deals that we may or may not need and then proceeded to purchase things we may or may not need.  It's always fun to get out with my mom.  I love watching people run around, grab things off shelves, carry way too much in their arms as they try to make their way to the register, and I love that this is the mark of the beginning of the Christmas season.  I am thankful for holidays and simple traditions we keep.

7. A good friend took family pictures of us this weekend.  I don't have any of the ones she took yet but my mom snapped just a couple on my phone as we were trying desperately to get the twins to stand next to us and smile.  Poor Johnny wasn't feeling like himself but we are thankful he is almost back to normal now and we are thankful Patrice was willing to take time away from her own family to share her talent.    

This list could go on and it's actually good for me to realize that as I sit here and think about all of these things.  While my heart still hurts because I miss Charlie so much, I know now that doesn't mean that it cannot also be full of thanksgiving.

As my grandma would say, "We are so blessed and it is good for us to remember that.  That is how we should be."


Monday, November 10, 2014

Christmas Cards

I am trying really hard to be ready for what is coming so stress along side my grief do not get the best of me.  So in an effort to get things checked off my to do list I have been looking at Christmas cards.  I saw one that I loved on Shutterfly and started "personalizing" it.  It asked for our last name and then the members of our family.  I am sitting here staring at the screen.  What do I write?  Do I write Charlie's name on our card?  He is obviously a really important part of our family but I am not really sure what to do about these cards.  It feels wrong not to include him but I know he's not really here either.  These are the realities I experience every single day.

Monday, December 2, 2013

All Things Bright and HECTIC

This weekend we enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with the Gesenhues on Thursday and then drove to Lexington to spend some time with my parents for the remainder of the weekend.  We thoroughly enjoyed each moment away from our crazy busy school life and literally did not pick up our computers until we returned and the babies were in bed late Sunday night.

This weekend we tried something that I had been contemplating/stressing over for a long time.

Family Pictures

I knew it would be a feat to get both babies (and big people) smiling at the same time but I swallowed my pride and need for perfection and let my sweet friend Patrice do her magic!  I am so glad that I did!  She captured exactly what I wanted for our family and she did so with an incredibly calm spirit about her (which I love and envy).  Here is a sneak peak at a couple of the pictures she took that have become my favorites.  I can wait to share them with our family and friends for Christmas.





Monday, December 31, 2012

Christmas

Christmas this year was especially meaningful because we were able to spend time together as a family of four!  What a blessing these two babies have been in our lives already.  We love them more than we can say and we are thankful for the four months (already) that we have been able to love on them!  

Gigi, Grandpa, Lolli, and Pop were also very excited to share this special time of year with their grand babies!  The entire season has been so special and we are already looking forward to next year when we have two little ones walking around pulling ornaments off the tree.  How exciting!  But for now here are a few of our favorite pictures from this year.        


"Pre Christmas Fun/My Birthday" 12/20/12

My Birthday Dinner at O'Charleys (my favorite)
John and Macy in their Christmas pjs from their Lolli and Pop
Macy giggling for the camera
John and Macy smiling in their red outfits

"Christmas Morning" 12/25/12

John and Macy got a toy called "My Pal Scout" from Gigi and Grandpa
Christmas morning we were surprised with monogrammed chairs for our classrooms
Grandpa and Gigi made the twins books telling about when we were born

"Christmas Afternoon" 12/25/12

We made it to Lexington and Kiley absolutely LOVED seeing the twins 
Lolli and Pop were in heaven!  

Epperson/Humkey (Gesenhues/Wade/Carroll) Progressive Dinner 12/26/12

This was from our first annual progressive dinner (just the girls...minus Macy and Kiley)
Macy and John sleeping away in the middle of the party!  They have no problem sleeping!
They loved their Dee Dee and never turn away from a soft shoulder to lean on...

"Christmas with Uncle Matt" 12/28/12 

Uncle Matt came in town from California.  This was his first time seeing the twins! 
Macy and John hanging out in Lolli and Pop's comfy chair and loving every minute
Macy and John with Lolli and Pop before we left to go back home for New Year's Eve!  
 
Images by Freepik