#9 Write Your Grief: Choose a Color

Set your timer. Choose any color. Let your mind follow that color to a memory, or a scene, or a story of any kind. Put your hand to the page and begin.

When I think of Charlie I think of blue; a blue balloon to be exact.  One particular memory that I will never forget is the first day I returned to work after losing Charlie.  I wanted to avoid it; hide forever, but I knew it would be better for me to push myself.  I needed something normal in my not normal reality.  Teaching was normal.  It was a good, good normal that I desperately needed.  The day went by, people avoided me, some people hugged me, I felt like a million eye balls were watching me all day long but I taught.  I think I actually smiled.  As I walked out at the end of the day I turned to go down the stairs and as I looked up I saw a blue balloon was in the foyer.  It was waiting for me.   It was like Charlie or maybe my Heavenly Father was saying, "Well done...you did it."  I felt proud.  I felt like I was going to be okay.  I felt like while it was going to be a long road {for the rest of my life} I could take it a day at a time.  The blue balloon has shown up so many other things in the most perfect places.  Every time I see a balloon especially a blue one, I remember Charlie and I thank God for giving me a happy memory of him at that exact moment.