Today was Halloween. It is not a particularly significant holiday for us but it is the time of year when we do what everyone does; carve pumpkins, dress up, eat lots of candy, and spend time with our family. This year however is different. We live each moment realizing that part of our family is missing.
It is hard to live these days without Charlie. It is impossible to find a normal in all the feelings of grief. However, we did find a way to include Charlie this year in our Halloween festivities. John and Macy dressed up as a UK cheerleader and a UK football player. Johnny's jersey was adorned with a "Number 3." It is a significant number for us because it represented Charlie, our third baby. Even on days or holidays as silly as Halloween he is missed but we know he is also with us.
So instead of dwelling on not having a normal Halloween this year (with our whole family out in the cold weather running from house to house), we are living in the moment. We are here together and the twins are healthy. They love everything about life these days. And we are realizing we can celebrate and bring Charlie along with us as Macy and Johnny do what two year olds do! Everything we do is all so new to them and all so "awesome" (as Johnny would say...). We are able to look, for this instant, through the eyes of our children, so today we are smiling. We are enjoying a little bit of cold weather and a lot of candy!
Happy Halloween everyone!