Thursday, March 5, 2015

Don't Blink

There are decisions that you really think about and weigh the pros and cons for (and if you're me this takes FOREVER) and then there are decisions you just say yes to because you know it all has to be too good to be true and if you don't say yes right away it will be gone before you blink your eyes again.

We made one of those decisions this past week.  We were so graciously handed an incredible opportunity to build a home in Fort Thomas.  If you live here you know how so so rare this is.  You would have done the same thing; say yes, because not only is the story behind this simple question special, God's hand was obviously orchestrating it.  We will forever cherish the timing and God's hand in each part as we move forward and make a new home for our family.     

I have not been able to get out of bed for over 7 months without feeling sad.  When you're missing a precious piece of your family it goes without saying it carries the weight of one million pounds.  And all of that weight rests on your shoulders when you get out of bed each day.  However, this past Sunday I woke up with a different feeling.  It was a feeling of new beginnings, of joy, and of happiness.  We have something so special to look forward to.  I wasnt sure if this would ever be again.  Of course my sweet husband, and kids, and family, and friends make me smile for small moments at a time but my constant thought and fear was, would we make it to a place where we would be truly happy?  This home is a new start for us in a place that can hold happy memories of Charlie without the overwhelming sadness of his nursery or the scary memories of rushing out the back door to take him to the doctor, or the in and out we did while we traveled back and forth to Children's.  None of those heart stopping painful memories will be there.

While it is just a house, for us it's our new home and it is helping me look forward. And while it is kind of scary to move past some of the sad, I think really I am.  I think I am starting to look forward without feeling this overwhelming guilt of leaving Charlie behind us.

I'm trying not to blink. It can't be too good to be true, right? 

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