That old wise witch is the one everyone wants to avoid. She knows too much about death and loss. She's scary. Who knows what might rub off if you let her come inside. And really, who wants to think about death or disease when you're trying to have a party?
But the old witch shows
up, doesn't she. She arrives, with a short, respectful bow, eyeing her
wary hosts. She knows better than to wait for an invitation that will
She doesn't cause death, she is simply comfortable with it. Because she is no longer afraid of death - or life, she delivers the clear message of destiny.
The 13th guest is a gift, but not everyone sees it that way.
Your presence brings the reality of life - of living here, so close to
the fault line of death - it can be hard to feel welcome anywhere.
Imagine yourself in a fairy tale. Are you the old wise person that brings the uncomfortable gift? How do the people around you see you: are they afraid, superstitious, uncomfortable?
Living in the midst of a fairy tale would be fantastic. I'd take that story in a heartbeat! The only problem is I can only see myself living inside the character of the Wicked Witch in Snow White with that awful poisonous apple.
And the real problem is I was given the apple. I didn't conjure it up or even ask for it. I was handed the apple against my will to hold in my hands for the rest of my life. I've said before I can't imagine allowing people to get too close or see my real raw grief because I think it may be contagious. In this fairy tale that darn apple is ready to pass on whatever grief, guilt, hatred, frustration, etc. that lives inside me to whomever comes near. People look at me, see the apple, and then quickly turn away so that they can avoid eye contact; avoid that poisonous apple.
My presence whether everyone realized it or not brings people too close to the fault line of death. Certain things aren't said in front of me. People avoid eye contact. I am sure I have not been invited to events because of my loss.
Have you ever read the story in Luke 10 about the good Samaritan? That's me. I have been left half dead on the side of the road and people just pass me by. Don't get me wrong there are people in my life (many people) that act as the good Samaritan but there are also a lot of people that avoid me. I really have no idea if they are afraid or just uncomfortable. Whatever it is, it hurts. I don't want this stupid apple. I want my boy back. I want my fairy tale before it was transformed into a nightmare.