God gave me the perfect moment to actually live what I wrote and give grace to someone that does not and cannot understand my heart. I am positive that I did not proceed in perfection but I did approach the situation boldly and went to the person directly because from where I sat it was inappropriate. It felt intentional. It felt like an attack. While I obviously believe there are times we need to smile and move on when people say things that hurt our damaged hearts, I also think there are times when we need to stand up for ourselves and speak what is on our heart without hiding behind the brokenness.
With that being said, this blog is not intended to hurt anyone or minimize anyone else's pain in whatever circumstance they are living in and it is absolutely not for me to hide behind. You are welcome to come to me any day of the week and talk with me about Charlie, how I am grieving, what this has looked like in our marriage, how we share Charlie with the twins, what we do day in and day out to keep a smile in our hearts and in our home, because I am a pretty open book about him. He's my baby. Now with that said, I cherish my blog. It is a place for me to share what is on my heart so that I have a place to go when I'm lonely. It is another way for me to say the things that are hard to say or that I don't necessarily want to burden someone with every single day. No one has to agree with them, but I would just ask that you respect me and my thoughts, as I do for you.
That is what grace is all about, right?
It's messy learning how to support people in the world we live in full of sin and hate and just all around bad things. It is absolutely true that we all in some way or another live with a version of grief. No one should compare one grief over another. There is no way to do that. But as each situation is different and each person's grief journey is different I hope we respect each other enough to NEVER say, "I have it worse." That does us no good and it wastes the energy we were given to do good in this world.
Instead we can say...
"I'll continue to pray for you."
"I pray for you often."
"I hope this isn't heavy today."
"I hope something or someone makes you smile today."
"I hope a smile from me helps you know that I care."
"I will always be there for you."
"I will not judge how you grieve."
"I will always care about your loved one."
"I will never forget your loved one."
"You can always cry with me."
"I will sit with you anytime you need someone."
That is grace. The grace God wants us to share with people because we are all broken and we all need God's hands and feet coming at us from every direction from all of our loved ones and acquaintances that have been placed in our paths.