This day was a whole new level of "parenting is hard." You would think the worries would be limited to next to nothing if and when your child is asked to be apart of the Enrichment Program at their preschool. However, this mom hears every single word at the enrichment program meeting and worries about them all. While all amazing things are discussed and reviewed thoughts of "Were the twins chosen because of just one of their abilities?" "Are they being lumped together because twins just always come in two..." or "Are they really doing well enough to be in this group?"
At the end of the meeting, I stayed back a bit and asked the director those very questions. As a teacher, I hate being "that parent", but I needed to know. I wanted to make sure we were the ones that would be able to make the decision to participate or not if it were just one child that needed to be a part of this class. She assured me that had nothing to do with their decision to include both Macy and Johnny in the class. They chose eleven students that they truly felt were ready for more; more independence, more writing, more challenge overall. As we spoke more I found myself over analyzing every single thing they said about both of the twins. It is interesting how our mind can run and race towards the worst possible scenarios for our children. I never want Macy or Johnny to be in the shadow of the other. I want them to be their own person. I want other people to recognize they are special in their own unique way. I want to make sure that one's strengths are not made out to be the other's weakness.
As I talked with John about it, and then my mom, I realized this worry is not beneficial for anyone. My worry just makes it harder for me to be completely present. I have to give this up to my Heavenly Father this evening. I have to let him take these worries and give me the strength to support and love my children if and when comparison steals their joy or keeps them from walking fully in their God given image.