There have been times over the past almost three years when I have felt so close to Charlie or the memory of him that I wished time would stand still. It is nearly impossible to describe the feeling, but this evening was one of those times. There was not a specific "special thing" that came from him or reminded me of him, it was just a fleeting moment that was gone before I could actually cherish it completely. I was driving home, crossing the bridge, going back into Kentucky, and the perfect song started on my shuffled playlist from my phone.
I started crying and immediately felt this urge to turn around and try to experience it again. I knew even if I had turned around and timed it all perfectly I wouldn't be able to experience that specific moment again. I wouldn't feel Charlie. I wouldn't connect with him in the same way because those special moments in time are rare.
While they are few and far between, they are what keeps me going. They give me hope to move through another day because I know I can look forward to the glimpses of the little boy that I lost. God lets me feel a closeness to Charlie that I am not even adequately able to put into words.