Thursday, August 3, 2017

Grief Takes You Back

Grief is triggered by something that cuts you deep to the core.  It takes something away that you weren't ready to let go of and it makes you rethink your everyday life; the way you walk through each day ahead of you.  Blood drips from the wound for what seems like eternity.  And it almost always leaves a scar.

I suppose the tragedy that just coursed through the veins of our community has me reliving my own journey; from the moment Charlie took his last breath to the funeral to the three years later walking down a road I didn't want to travel.  A road that seems "less traveled" until you walk down the lonely path and find people literally everywhere that can understand a small piece of your story; your grief.

I have thought about what happened and how her loved ones feel all day today and all day yesterday.  I am not sure a moment has gone by that my heart didn't physically hurt; specifically for her mom.  It may be because I am also a mom that now lives with my baby in heaven instead of here next to me.  I know how a mother's heart can ache.  I know our bond with our children is something that can't be replicated.

I have prayed many prayers over the past few days.  I have begged God for things for this family.

I pray we can all remember that grief is hard.  It is excruciating, near impossible, for her mom and dad.  It is devastating and pain filled for her brothers and other family.  It is sad for her best friends.  It doesn't feel real for her acquaintances.  It is "hard" and unnatural for every single person involved.  And every single person that knew her are grieving differently.  We will not see anyone follow any stage of grief in an orderly or predictable way.  We will instead see something unpredictable, involuntary, and downright terrible.

As someone on the outside, it may be helpful for you to acknowledge the situation and express your concern but it is not necessary for those actually grieving.  They may not even understand what you are saying or be able to comprehend its worth (especially so soon), instead they will know you are present with your words.  They need to know they have a support system if they do need or want to say something.  They just need to know you are there.

I pray those in a different place than her family can pick themselves up and go do something.  (...not everyone needs to bring them will go bad and they will throw it away.)  They need someone to mow their grass.  They need someone to feed their pets.  They need someone to make sure her schedule for school does not come in the mail (not yet).  I pray we can all think about our gifts and how we can use them to be what they need right now without asking.

I hope and pray each and every person that was touched by Michelle and her life can grieve in their own way.  I pray the class of 2021 can hold one another up as they walk the rest of their high school days missing their friend.  It true it is a tragedy and nothing will make it go away for now or maybe ever.  She will always be missing from her family and from her community.  

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