Saturday, August 5, 2017

Sleep Feels Impossible

It's nearly two o'clock in the morning.  I am past the time where sleep will come.  I will be up all night at this point.  I have tossed and turned.  I have closed my eyes and laid completely still.  I have prayed away the minutes and now hours.  I am no longer praying for sleep, instead I am dedicating this evening of prayer to a dear girl's family...since sleep will not come.

I cannot stop thinking about the pain so many around me are feeling.  I cannot stop thinking about the ribbons all over town.  I cannot stop thinking about the family that has a room that is now void of their daughter; a room full of her life that they walk by and sit in and maybe even avoid.  I cannot stop thinking about the need we all have to help or do something.  I cannot stop thinking about how I want to rewind time now for someone else.  I cannot stop thinking about the friends that now have an empty seat at their lunch table or their dance class.  I cannot stop thinking about the teachers that have a picture of a sweet girl in their class but can no longer talk to her or ask her if she understands.  I cannot stop thinking about how unfair this whole thing is for everyone.

There is never a life taken out of order that makes sense.  There is never a time when a tragedy reveals its "why."  So instead of asking why and instead of insisting God rewind time, my prayer will continue to be that God would stay close to the brokenhearted.  My prayer is also that the rest of us can be God's hands and feet to the brokenhearted when they need us most.  While there are no words and there are not even any actions that will change what has happened I pray we continue to be a refuge for the family and friends running, walking, and even barely crawling through this storm.  There is no end in sight, I realize that, but I pray they (and we all) cling to our heavenly Father.  
 

3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I will keep praying. It is all we can do and we will not stop.

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  2. I thought about you on the day that I heard the news and I prayed that it would not bring back your own memories, but I knew it would. Hope you are well.

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