Impact

This evening in grief group we shared pictures of the people we lost, those people that were stripped out of our grip, sometimes without warning and sometimes more slowly.  And it doesn't matter whether it happened quickly or painfully slow, those people that were taken from this earth are the some of the most treasured people in our lives.

Once we gathered the courage to hold the picture up in front of us, to share a vulnerable piece of our heart, we told everyone a brief story and then one or two words that described our loved one.  Every single person in that room tonight remembered something positive.  Every single person in the room this evening remembered the positive way their lost loved one impacted their life.   

Some of the words that were used to describe the people that left their mark on our hearts were brave, kind, full of life, joy filled, helpful, compassionate, sincere, loving, loyal...I wish I could remember every word.  I wish I had taken notes because I need to keep this evening and this moment in the front of my mind.  I need to keep this lesson close because I want the words used to describe me when I am gone, to also be kind and loyal.  I want someone to say "She was joyful."  I want people to remember the sincerity and compassion in my heart.  I continue to pray that when I am remembered, once I am gone, the words that come out of my loved ones mouths point others to Jesus.

After all it isn't because I am kind or loyal.  Instead, it is because Jesus was kind and loyal first.  He was the first and most influential teacher.

And it isn't me that is able to be joyful alone but rather the Holy Spirit filling me with joy.

It isn't because of anything I have done that my heart is full of love for others; that is all my Savior.  He gave me a heart for the hurting and he filled me with sincerity and compassion.

Those small moments I am able to let Jesus shine I hope are the most impactful.  For all the other moments I just have to say, Jesus be near, because you give grace upon grace even when my human tendencies keep me from having a positive impact on those around me or doing things in love.  You've got me and you are most strong when I am weak.

Thankful for that truth.