God is Good

It is easier to be thankful when things are easy.  When life seems to be going the way you planned it, it isn't hard to unclench your fists and open up your hands to receive God's blessings, but when I think about thankfulness I think about how important it is for me to be accepting of all the things God gives me or allows me to have or experience and more importantly who he is.  God is good all the time and my thankfulness should have absolutely nothing to do with the "tangible" things God allows me to have in my life here on earth.

This week both John and Macy have been sick.  If you saw me you may not have known that my insides were wrecked.  My heart and my brain went through a lot of stress similar to the stress I felt when I was grieving over losing Charlie.  I went through every scenario of how or why they were sick.  I looked up every single symptom and its relationship to genetic disorders because for some crazy reason I still feel like someone lied to me and it is in fact possible for Macy and John to get sick the way Charlie did.  Or maybe we are one of those families that tragedy is going to come year after year in the biggest most heart breaking ways and then in my mind they both suddenly have cancer.  I know I sound crazy, which is why I don't normally say these things out loud but I needed to get it out.  This has turned into therapy for me and it helps me walk through the hardest days.

I also needed to remind myself that regardless of our circumstances God is still good.  He does in fact bestow blessings on my family day after day.  And whether we have an easy day tomorrow or an extremely hard day I will continue to praise God and thank him for being good.