Same Day, Different Year

This year my day looks so differently than it did last year.

I woke up.  We went to church.  I learned about a different perspective.  We drove by the new house.  I made lunch for the twins.  We cleaned up the morning mess around the house.  I laid the twins down for a nap.  And then I sat and thought about what to do next...

As I sit here debating my next step it dawned on me that last year I had no chance to sit and think about what to do next.  The entire time we were in the hospital I felt like I needed to be home and each and every time I briefly visited home I felt like I needed to turn right around and go back to Charlie.  The whole experience was so filled up with crazy mixed emotions that my thoughts were FULL.  They never went to, "Hmmm...should I start a load of laundry or read a chapter in my book...?"

Today, as weird as it sounds, I am grateful that it looks different this July 12th.  I am not starting a Caring Bridge page.  I am not listening to doctors and their horrible news.  I am not crying.  I am not wishing I was home with my baby.  I am just thanking God that the twins are in the next room, healthy and ready to keep me going onto the next day.