For those of you that read this you probably know by now that it is therapeutic for me to write. It helps me work out some of the crazy things in my head. And when I don't get it out, whether that be with words, or through other outlets, I end up having days like I had today that don't go as well as they could.
This week we have done a lot of purging to ready ourselves for a yard sale we are having in an attempt to prepare for the new house. It has been long evenings of cleaning, packing, preparing, and pricing. Even when I think to myself around midnight that I need to lay down I struggle to actually fall asleep when I close my eyes. It has been a week of nearly no sleep, which means that in the afternoon when the twins lay down my body is so heavy and so tired I have to lay down too. That was my night (and week) prior to today. I was sleep deprived. I was exhausted.
Last night I finally fell asleep around 3:30. It felt like my eyes had literally just closed when I woke up to Macy saying, "Mommy, I have to pee!" She was in my face and apparently wanted my company in the bathroom. So I drug myself out of bed just long enough to help her on and off the potty and then convinced her and Johnny to lay in bed with us while I closed my eyes for a bit longer and they watched a television show.
It was rainy again and I feel like this rain is impacting my mood. So I tried really hard to think of something we could do as a family that would require us to get out of our pajamas before noon. So we ventured out to the twins very first movie. Inside Out was a fan favorite and definitely one we will watch again. This adventure worked for a couple of hours. The twins enjoyed it. We enjoyed it. But we still had quite a long day ahead of us with a lot of their toys packed up and no sunshine!
The twins did lay down for a nap, we picked up a little bit around the house, and then all the sudden it hit me. I couldn't keep my eyes open because my head hurt so badly. I told John I was going to lay down. Right about that time, the twins were stirring. Seriously, already!? John told them I didn't feel well and let me sleep. A little while later I woke up to John telling me they were going to his parents for dinner. I rolled back over in bed and fell back asleep until 6:00. I almost called and cancelled my plans because I couldn't shake the headache and overwhelming sadness; but I didn't. I needed to get up.
Megan picked me up, waited patiently for me to get ready, and then together we went to make shoes for kids in Uganda. Rachel had run across a group called Soul Hope that makes shoes for kids in Africa. Their story is incredible. Her and her friend Jenna planned a party and tonight we all came together and made 32 pairs of shoes. I am thankful for tonight and for the opportunity to be with friends that know where my heart is and how to get it back in the right place. I could have stayed in bed, but I didn't. I got up and kept going. I don't think it is ironic at all that we were working tonight for Soul Hope. I think it was just a good reminder that we can have hope in all different kinds of circumstances and at all different times in our lives.