Thursday, December 3, 2015

#18 Write Your Grief: My Blessing To You

For today's writing, read through John O'Donohue's Beannacht, Blessing.
Take a moment for it to settle behind your own heart.

As you are ready, write your own blessing for your companions in this broken-heart space. What do you wish for, knowing that the pain itself cannot be fixed?

I have an acquaintance that recently lost her daughter.  I think about her all the time.  Literally, all the time she crosses my mind and while I don't know exactly, I have some idea about what she is living.  Everything she lives I relive my own version of it.  As someone that has shared this territory this is my hope for you and for anyone that has also lived this nightmare.

When you find yourself not wanting to emerge from your bed, I pray someone walks into your room and needs you.

When you want to drive through a fast food restaurant for the third time that week, I pray you know that God will provide the nourishment you need for the time being.

When you find yourself crying in the middle of the grocery store, I pray you can let the tears fall without shame or fear.

When you want to return to a place you shared with your loved one, I pray you do; if you need to. 

When you see only darkness and it feels like there are only ever going to be storms, I pray God brings the biggest, most beautiful rainbow you have ever seen.

When you feel like no one understands or cares, I pray someone texts you and says "I'm carrying this for you today, I can feel your heart is heavy..."

When you and your husband are not on the same page, I pray he smiles at you and you recognize the love you share with him even in the midst of tragedy.

When your heart physically hurts, I hope something makes you laugh.

When you visit the cemetery, I hope the wind blows through your hair or the sun shines on her headstone so that you know you are not alone.

When you feel like you can't sing to the songs that come on the radio, I pray your favorite song comes on and you sing your heart out. 

When you want to wish your life away, I hope someone walks in and says, "Let's go get ice cream."

When your life feels completely different and like it will never be normal, I pray you have a friend that says, "I am still here.  I am not going anywhere." 

When you need your mom, I hope you don't even have to ask her to come; I hope she just knows you need her. 

When you feel like your mailbox is empty (void of any sympathy or well wishes), I pray you get a special note that means more than the rest because you know someone is thinking of you, not out of  obligation, but rather out of love.

When you need to talk to someone, I pray you find the perfect someone.  

When you want to cry, I pray you can find a pillow, or the shower, or the back of your closet to just let it all out. 

When you forget to pay your bills or to buy groceries for your family, I pray the other people in your life show you grace.

Most of all, when you think you need to do something to "make this go away" or to "be normal" for your friends and family, I pray you show yourself some grace and love the person you are with this in your life because this grief and this new thing you have to carry is how you show all of us you loved your little girl with all your heart.

I pray all these things.  Amen.


  1. A very good friend of mine just lost her little boy- 4 months old. I have tears streaming down my face because I'm going to share your words with her. I'm so sad, I'm full of grief and worry over her, but I really don't get her pain but you do. I know your words will offer her comfort or peace. Thank you for being transparent and know that we still pray for Charlie's mommy at my dinner table every night.

  2. Thank you so much! I hope these words ease pain but I kind of know they won't. I will just pray, pray, pray intensely!


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