What do you want to remember? What do you wish you could forget?
I want to remember what it was like to have three little ones in my house. When I got pregnant with Charlie we were really not intending to get pregnant. However, we were excited for the blessing of another little one in our home. When I told one of my friends we were pregnant she responded with, "How exciting! Welcome to the three kids club..." That replays over and over in my head. Am I still in the club? Or did my friends kick me out when Charlie passed? I really have no idea (except for about 6 or 7 days) what it is like to have three little ones in our home. I just know that my mind couldn't wrap itself around the idea before all the sudden he was gone.
On the other hand, I wish I could forget the panicked yelling of the doctors and nurses in the emergency room when they rushed him back to intubate without warning or explanation. I wish I could erase that from my mind. I never want to hear it again and yet of all the memories that is the one that stands out the most. That is the one I replay over and over and over in my mind.