Monday, December 7, 2015

#22 Write Your Grief: After Death

Imagine you can write in the voice of the one you love: write from their perspective. Let yourself roam, try to keep yourself out of any preconceived ideas you may have, and simply let the writing  write itself.

This was an extremely difficult prompt for me.  I almost quit this course altogether because it actually made me angry all day.  I felt this fire inside of me when I read some of the prompt...The truth is, not one single one of us knows what happens after death.  I guess now that I have calmed down part of me understands that I do not know from experience what happens after death; but I do know.  I have faith that God's word will come to fruition.  I will see Charlie again in heaven and the best part is he is already there now.

I continued reading, "None of us know." After reading this and feeling it almost rip a piece of the only in tact part of my heart out, I am learning how crucial it is to speak for yourself in this arena of grief because "no one" and "never" are not words that are fair to use when speaking to people about this sacred place in their heart.  While you may find no joy or hope in heaven, I do.  My heart hurts for you if you do not have that hope because I can honestly say that is what gets me through this dark place in my life when it gets to heavy to carry.  

I believe with everything in me that Charlie is in heaven.  He is experiencing the fullness of joy and to be honest I don't know that he is actually looking down on me or any of us.  I think he has been given a gift; he has escaped this world of sin and pain and he is happier than we will ever know this side of heaven, as a saint.  I do not believe he would write me a letter or speak to me right now because I don't think in order for him to be happy he needs to see me or watch over me.

Nothing in heaven dies or rusts.  We know that nothing grows old and absolutely nothing is boring.  He has better things to do with this new and perfect life he has been given and I am okay with that.  As his momma I just want him to be happy; and I am content knowing that he is more than happy.      

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