Monday, January 11, 2016

Besties and Bachelor

I sent a text today because I needed my friends.  I needed to laugh and not feel guilty.  I needed to smile and not worry.  So, I reached out. 

I am taking to heart this idea of learning to "do the work" to get out of these big holes of grief I land in sometimes.  And apparently today was the day.  I didn't say, "I need you guys to talk to me about Charlie." or "I really need someone to listen."  Instead I said, "I need FUN in my life right now...and when I think about FUN, I think about all of us together watching the Bachelor."  All the while I knew that if it was the kind of night that I needed someone to listen any of the three of them would have been less than a heartbeat.   

So, I did it.  I reached out.  I asked for my friends to just be friends without carrying any extra weight. 

At first everyone was busy.  It would have been hard to work around the masters class, soccer mom meeting, and manicure to hang and watch the Bachelor.  Responsibilities do tend to take priority over hot tubs and group dates.  And of course any chance us moms get to "Sharpen the Saw" we take and we don't look back (until everyone is in bed).   So I understood and thought it may have been a popcorn and lesson plan kind of night for me to half watch on the couch and maybe even fall asleep early. 

But then something happened.  It wasn't just me that wanted to be free of the weight of the day.  It wasn't just me that wanted something aside from worry and stress.  Megan text and said, "I'll be there Cadety!"  And what do you do when one of your besties says they're coming over?  You respond with this... "I'll hide the veggies (we have a pact to steer clear of those things until 2018...long story) and the warm cookies and ice cream will be waiting."  I threw in a few emojis for good measure and then landed myself on the couch to snuggle with the twins before she arrived.   

It wasn't long before we got word that Natalie missed her soccer mom meeting (wrong place, wrong time) and Rachel finished up class early (good things no one ever really stays in class until 9!) and they both joined Megan and I on the couch. 

Yes, we watched the Bachelor. 

Yes, we ate cookies and ice cream (also known as "cookie monsters" around here). 

Yes, we laughed until we (or maybe just I) peed our pants.  I held it too long...I didn't want to miss anything.  

Yes, we talked about work for a brief second and said a silent prayer for a delay in the morning. 

Yes, to say it was successful is an understatement.  It was so good to be with friends. 

The best part, as I am scrolling through the various facebook posts about the Bachelor I came across this from Jen Hatmaker.  I poked the bear Jen.  You would be proud, especially if you knew the anxiety I have about having people over or being in a place outside of work for fear I will lose control of my emotions.  But I didn't lose control and I had so much fun.  It was nothing crazy out of the ordinary but as a mom and a wife and a teacher and a...the list goes on...these nights filled with good friends are necessary and so therapeutic.

Same time next week sweet friends.  I'll go get the cookies this weekend and I won't forget to restock the ice cream supply either!  Love you three. Thanks for being such fun and willing besties (even when bedtime is pushed back 30 minutes!).

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