On the first day of February I began a new tradition and I have already learned how far a few kinds words can go. Each day thus far in February I have taped a red heart with one reason why I love Macy, Johnny, and John to their doors and to John's mirror. The very first day they woke up and saw them, I heard Macy come running into my bathroom and she said, "Mommy, mommy, come look at this!" I followed her quickly down the hall to her room and stood with her while she stared at her door with the one single red heart on it. She pointed and said, "Look, a heart! I love hearts." I told her I wrote something on it that I loved about her. She then turned (concerned John may not have one on his door) and her face lit up when she saw something similar on Johnny's door as well.
As we made our way back into my bathroom after reading her heart she talked nonstop about the heart and how much she loved it. As soon as I started brushing through my hair I looked over and saw a puzzled look on her face. She quickly said, "Mommy, what about Charlie?" I didn't put together at first what she was talking about. Then I realized she meant the hearts. I didn't write a heart for Charlie. It wasn't that I hadn't thought about it, actually it did cross my mind but I didn't want people to think I was making a sort of shrine for Charlie in the guest bedroom that has lovingly been named "Lolli and Pop's room, so I refrained. She said, "Charlie NEEDS a heart Mommy. He wants one too."
I asked her what she loved about Charlie and she didn't even hesitate before she said, "I love that Charlie gets to live in heaven." It was yet another moment that I was able to experience the faith of a child. She loves Charlie and she talks about him a lot. She holds his picture. She carefully places his lovey on my pillow if it falls off the bed. She looks up at the stars at night and says, "Charlie is up there in heaven." And that day she said, "Charlie wants a heart Mommy." So we gave him a heart.
It now hangs on my mirror where I can be reminded at least for the month of February that I love that Charlie gets to live in Heaven. And what a perfect way to phrase it. He gets to live in Heaven! It is a privilege. I am thankful for that hope and the grace that gets us all there someday.