If you read my blog you know there are so many things that have been life boats in this ocean of grief I feel like I have been drowning in for the past almost two years. Today, I can say that the waves are slowly calming down a bit, at least for this season. This morning I woke up and last year I would have been upset that people were happy. I would have been frustrated that the sun was shining. I would have been mad that people were singing to the songs on the radio. The 17th of the month has cause all kinds of heart ache. It all made me so mad because it wasn't fair. How could everyone else be so darn happy?! I had something so devastating happen and no one cared. My perspective has completely changed. I now know that I can experience joy and feel sorrow at the exact same time.
While there are numerous things that I would attribute this to one thing that has been a consistent place of refuge has been the grief group I was apart of at Crossroads for the last eight weeks. Not only that but I am also so thankful my doctor told me to get outside and exercise. I'm pretty positive I've been able to experience more joy because I am leaning into my grief and because I am taking better care of myself. I think it has helped me see things a little more clearly and learn from those perfect and divine experiences God has so graciously placed in my life.
I am excited to continue to share our story.