I find that I so often say to myself and often to others, "I hate that I can't do...with Charlie." It is always a weird moment when even my closest people know there is not an appropriate response and yet I still find myself saying it because sometimes it's the only way I can say that I miss Charlie. It lets people know that I need prayer and I need help to get through a lot of days still.
There is this weird thing when in a community of grief "people" that makes it near impossible to say "I hate that I can't do...with Charlie." and not see a nodding head or a reassuring smile. The reason there is this slight difference is because they know. They have a small piece of them that misses dressing their child in a silly Halloween costume. They understand that every single school year their heart will ache like mine because our children will never go to school. They may even have gifts wrapped and ready for Christmas that will never be opened. They get it. They know from experience that I need prayer and I need help to get through a lot of days still.
I say all this to say, not one response or experience with these thoughts is better or more helpful than the other. Whether you know what to say or not, whether you have been there or not, whether you feel helpful or not, it doesn't matter. You are all my people. I am thankful for you all every single day.